Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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