I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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