There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
