that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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