he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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