I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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