hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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