i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Is Oprah even human
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
