Swine flu. Run for my life!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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