Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
