I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I wish you could order shots online.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
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