Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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