I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
