and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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