Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
