This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
