I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
