why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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