there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
