im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
