clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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