You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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