Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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