She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
