Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
