I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
operation harelip BJ is a go
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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