So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
