went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
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