the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Dick very happy bro
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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