My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
