is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
