Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
