So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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