Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i think i scared a bird with my dick
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
