I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
