i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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