Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Boobs are out for the taking
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
