talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
