OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
