how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
