I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She's the barista slut.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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