you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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