i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
