I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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