that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
