if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
