i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
