I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
