You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
