We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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