so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize