He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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