Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
