bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
