I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
