Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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