grandma shit on top of the toilet
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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