it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
