We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
