she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Randomize
