So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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